Everyone desires to be accepted and belong in a community. Also, being liked by people feels good. However, seeking approval from people affects how you lead your life. Your decisions, goals, and everything you do is directed at getting validation.
It is a slippery road, and you end up losing yourself in the cycle of trying to please people, which is unending. Most people do not appreciate this kind of person. Therefore, you will waste your energy and time. To finally put a stop to this behavior, let us look at the following tips on how to stop seeking approval.
Have you had enough of your approval-seeking behavior? It can be tiring to pretend to be something you are not. It can get lonely and overwhelming. However, it may not be easy to stop on your own.
The series of articles we shared answered the questions like ‘Does self-hypnosis work?‘ or ‘Is self-hypnosis generally regarded as safe?‘. Hypnosis is one of the techniques you can use to put an end to it. It is a dream-like state that you are put into to boost your concentration. This method can help you gain self-esteem, loosen up, and be assertive. Most importantly, almost everybody can learn self-hypnotherapy.
Hypnosis Downloads have audios that psychologists have put together. The stop seeking approval audio will help you manage the urge to seek validation from other people. You can self-hypnotize using self-hypnosis audios, or do this with a therapist. It is also possible to learn how to hypnotize someone, provided you understand the workings and are a certified expert in the field.
Learn to stop depending on other people’s opinions of you, and start setting yourself free from this shackle. You can finally begin to put yourself first.
Trace Its Origin
Feeling the need to seek approval from people constantly is a trigger from one’s early life. Find out where it all began, and start your journey to stop seeking acceptance. It might have been from an experience of disapproval from a parent, teacher, or even a classmate you wanted to be friends with.
As a people pleaser, you may not have any boundaries whatsoever. You allow anything and anyone to have their way even when you disapprove. Having boundaries helps you have respectful relationships and will not let people take advantage of you.
Being assertive enables you to communicate how you feel about something. You can speak up when you disagree or want your point to be heard. Being afraid to say what is on your mind to please people only limits your development.
If you do not share your thoughts, especially at work, you not only limit your growth, but you won’t be a source of contribution to the company. While you seek to please everyone by agreeing with their points, you lose the chance to shine and be recognized.
It is also important to speak up when something wrong has been done to you. Do not be afraid of calling out someone out.
Love yourself the way you are and avoid comparing yourself to others. When you have self-love, it helps you stop seeking people’s approval because you already accept yourself. You do not need anyone to validate you for you to feel good.
When you love yourself, you will not just accept anything. It will help you put an end to seeking approval because you can say no. When you need validation, it is hard to choose yourself, and you’ll end up agreeing to things you are not interested in.
Build Your Self-Esteem
Identify your positive attributes – see positive thinking hypnosis – and focus on them. No one is perfect, but focusing on the negative will only make you feel as though you are not worthy. Set your foundation on your strengths and build up your weaknesses. You can do this by trying something new and challenging like hypnosis for shyness, which will grow your confidence.
Do not be too hard on yourself. Setting unachievable goals will only make you feel like you are not accomplishing anything, and it will trigger anxiety. Another tip is to focus on your growth and not rewards. You might miss out on what you have gained in the process because you are only focusing on the end goal.
Choose Your Company
Stay away from people who bring you and others down. These people will only plant bad seeds in your mind, such as self-doubt. Instead, choose friends who build each other up.
Learn to welcome criticism and do not take it personally. Take it positively and use it to grow. Everyone is prone to making mistakes, and no one expects you to be perfect either.
Speak Positively to Yourself
Being mean to yourself creates a negative spirit in your body, leading to low self-esteem and no self-approval. Start from the inside out. Tell yourself you are worthy, which will eliminate the reliance on other people’s approval.
Why Do I Constantly Seek Approval From Others?
- Lack of confidence
Not believing in yourself makes you vulnerable to constantly seeking approval from other people. Other people’s opinions about you matter more than yours when you lack confidence.
- Effects of poor parenting techniques
Maybe growing up, you were only approved when you did something worthy in their eyes. It might be the reason why you constantly seek approval from people.
- It feels good
Every human being feels good when they get approval from their parents, boss, friend, or teacher. This feeling may drive you to seek more and more consent, resulting in an approval-seeking addiction.
- Beliefs and culture
You start developing beliefs between the age of six to ten. The environment you grow up in will affect the views you have. If you grow believing you need approval, you will go into your adult life seeking validation from everyone around you.
Some cultures also contribute to the problem because they encourage you to seek approval from the elderly to show respect. It may affect you, especially when you enter the working environment and meet older people than you. You may feel the need to gain approval by not stating your opinion in fear of upsetting them.
What Happens When You Stop Seeking Validation?
- You thrive
Approval seeking hinders you from achieving things in your life because you are too afraid to fail. Once you let it go, you get more confident to do what you want to do. That voice of fear will not stop you from going for your dreams anymore.
- Experience happiness
Once you stop seeking validation from others, you will realize that your happiness is not attached to them. No one is responsible for your satisfaction except you.
Waiting on approval will mostly end up in disappointment. You will also never be content with the confirmation you get until you focus on self-approval.
- Realize your self worth
You keep trying to get validation because you think you are not good enough. However, once you stop this belief and behavior, you realize what you are worth.
Self-worth gives you the confidence to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. No one is going to disregard or take advantage of you.
- Get confident
Being confident elevates your life. People are also attracted to confidence, which will be good for you in school and at work because you stand out. Faith in yourself reduces anxiety and fear and increases your self-worth and innovation.
You lose the burden of pretending and saying or doing things to please others. You will be free to live your life the way you want to without seeking validation from others.
- Earn respect
When you stop being a people pleaser, you get to be your person, and they will respect that. When you are always running your decisions through someone, they see your lack of confidence. It does not earn you high regard from your peers or co-workers.
- Have time for yourself and growth
Now that you are not wasting time and energy pleasing others, you can finally focus on yourself. You can also use it to grow yourself, your career and even invest time in something you are passionate about.
Approval Seeking Behavior You Should Look Out for
Going against what you believe in
To please people, you will be afraid to disagree with them. It means that you agree with what they say and their beliefs.
Giving fake compliments
You tend to give compliments that are not sincere to make others like you.
Getting upset when people disagree with you
You are entitled to your own opinion, but an argument could go your way or the other persons’. The parties can also agree to disagree. However, you will get so upset if you seek validation from others if they do not see eye to eye with you.
You may start gossiping to fit in with a particular group of people. However, this will backfire on you because you will seem untrustworthy to them. No one wants to be close with anyone who they cannot trust.
Being a know-it-all
No one likes someone who wants to seem like they know everything. You will only embarrass yourself at the end of the day because you do not know everything.
Shying away from sharing your beliefs
The need for approval will make you dread sharing your beliefs, especially regarding touchy topics such as politics. It is also difficult to say your personal preferences to avoid rejection.
Seeking validation from others only prevents you from living your life fully. You will never be happy until you stop this. Start believing in yourself and see all the positive things that will come your way.
Approval-seeking behaviors will steal away good relationships that you could have. Not everyone will like you, and that is okay. People are different and like different things. Be content with the friends, family, colleagues, and associates you have in your life.