Passive-aggressive behavior entails a masked indirect expression of anger. Passive aggression is where one expresses anger in a seemingly non-hostile way avoiding open conflicts in every way. This state is mostly seen where one struggles or cannot respond directly to a person to tell them when upset. One may say they are not entirely honest with themselves.
The truth is, we will feel angry or get offended. But how we cope with it matters both to you and the receiving end of your anger. Passive aggressiveness can be extremely damaging to your relationships, especially in marriage. Here are some insights into addressing passive aggression and how to stop passive-aggressive behavior through safe practices.
Mostly passive aggression is an unconscious prompting of our minds when we cannot openly express our anger, fearing hurting another person. At Hypnohub.com, you can get hypnosis audio to help you hypnotize yourself to work out your passive aggression at the unconscious level of your mind.
Professional hypnotherapists and psychologists make the audio. So we understand that to have changed behavior, you do not overrule your unconscious patterns with your conscious ones. Instead, through the workings of self-hypnosis, you align your unconsciousness with your consciousness at the level of your unconscious mind.
You’ll notice progress by listening to the hypnosis download on stopping passive-aggressiveness continuously. After purchasing stop passive-aggressive behavior, you’ll notice progress in:
- General relaxation
- Perspective shift
- New understanding of anger
- Know when to express anger genuinely
- Advance to learn how to choose to express or conceal anger
Thus, you will be honest and open about your state. You can access the material from the free app once you complete the purchase.
What Is Passive Aggression and Its Indicators in a Person?
Passive-aggressive behaviors are where one indirectly expresses negative feelings as positive thoughts are suppressed. Mostly you’ll notice the inconsistency between what the passive-aggressive individual says and what they do.
Often, a passive-aggressive person deals with negative feelings of anger through behaviors like failing to meet their obligations, failing to respond to calls or messages, periods of silence, sarcasm, running late, etc.
They may seem to agree with your request, and rather than complying with it, they express resentment and fail to stick to the deadlines. Some specific indicators include:
- Opposition and resentment to the other person demands
- Intentional mistakes and procrastination
- A Sullen, cynical, and hostile attitude
- Frequent complaints about being cheated or underappreciated
Can a Passive-Aggressive Person Change?
The good news is, a passive-aggressive person can change their passive-aggressiveness.
However, the change may not come easy, especially if passive aggression is an in-built trait developed throughout their lives. Why? Because to you, passive aggression may be your norm. However, it’s entirely unhealthy in relationships both to us and to the receiving end of our passive aggression.
Therefore, please keep on reading as we’ll see the root causes of passive aggressiveness and how we can root passive aggression out. Have you considered our self-hypnosis downloads as a means of eliminating passive aggression?
The Root Cause of Passive-Aggressiveness
You have several reasons why one is passive-aggressive.
In our relationships, anger does not always bring out appropriate reactions both to us that feel it or to the one on anger’s receiving end. Thus, some have developed an attitude of not expressing it appropriately because of fear of conflicts. Therefore, they show passive-aggressive behaviors because feeling and expressing anger make them bad people.
A person’s upbringing also influences passive-aggressiveness in a person. Unfortunately, some parents raise children by being overly controlling.
This character creates a hostile environment in which the parents vilify self-expression.
These people learn to express their hostility and anger in other ways like passive aggression. Children grow and learn to depend on what their parents say, and because they covertly lash out at their parents, they mostly continue with this behavior into adulthood.
Other environmental and biological factors contributing to passive-aggressiveness include:
- ADHD (Attention Disorder)
- Anxiety disorder
- Bipolar disorder
- Drug Withdrawal
- Alcohol abuse
Is Passive Aggressiveness a Mental Illness?
Passive aggressiveness is not a categorized mental illness. However, passive-aggressiveness is a symptom of several mental conditions, including schizophrenia, stress, bipolar disorder, or depression.
Also, there is a disorder known as Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder.
Other than when passive aggression is a health condition, which needs a therapeutic intervention, you can unlearn it as it is a learned behavior.
How to Stop Passive Aggressive Behavior
There are several ways to stop passive-aggressiveness. First, you must learn how to go about immediate situations that attract passive-aggressive responses. Here, you must make a deliberate and conscious approach to understand that sometimes it’s not in your power to control a circumstance.
It could be certain communication patterns. It’s also where you are dealing with a passive-aggressive individual. Also, it could be that you feel underappreciated or have vilified yourself for being angry and expressing anger. Plus, it could also be that you have an underlying mental condition.
Second, you can establish a long-term plan to deal with passive-aggressiveness, demanding deliberate input. It will require learning and unlearning some communication styles. Also, please understand that feeling angry is okay. You will also need assertiveness. Passive aggression is what is not okay.
What you Need To Stop Behaving in a Passive-Aggressive Way
Identify Your Behavior
Flying and staying above your situation means you know exactly when you behave passive-aggressively thus, you can choose to act differently. Self-awareness helps you to stay above your circumstances.
You will need a personality assessment. Therefore, the people in your circle, especially your partner-if you have one-your workmates, your family therapist, etc. These people will help you in your personality assessment.
The silent treatment and other indirect ways that passive-aggressive individuals follow show helplessness. Why? You feel angry, and most people don’t like anger, which means you want to avoid conflict. But the anger within pushes you to cause more harm in passive aggression.
Being assertive is trusting your convictions. It requires self-belief. Assertiveness requires you to close the gap between silence and anger. How? You must break the silence or dissipate your anger. You must understand your right to express your needs and wants without fear which requires assertiveness.
Assertiveness states facts about your own opinions showing the other person the implications of their behavior patterns.
Take Your Time
Recognizing your patterns, unlearning, and learning new traits take time. To recover and reconnect, you need time, as being assertive is not always a walk in the park. You’ll need openness to confrontation as you will offend some people because assertiveness is direct. However, you must be respectful even after realizing it’s okay to feel angry.
For Immediate Circumstances
Please note that eliminating passive aggressiveness does not mean you cause conflict. It means you learn a proper way of expressing your anger healthily, as suppressing it could cause more harm.
This statement tells you exactly why you must change your aggression because passive aggression is still aggression in an indirect form. Amid conflicts, here are some helpful tips.
When you engage in a conversation, and one party has a negative headspace, you can try and chill out. Why? The dialogue between you will most likely cause the one dealing passive-aggressiveness to escalate the situation or shut down. Take a break, calm down and approach each other when calm.
Mostly, it’s fruitless to assume that you get what the other person feels without asking them. Making assumptions may escalate your state.
Make Solutions Together
Brainstorming means that your relationship is both ways. Therefore, you can try to come up with answers together.
Also, try to widen your options. This way, you’ll land a win-win situation where both of you win.
Discussing the Pros and Cons
Try discussing the pros and cons of all the options in your list. Discussing your options and their pros plus cons helps involve both of you.
Then execute the agreed plan. This plan should be the one that both of you agree on to see how it goes. Afterward, evaluate whether the solution works. If it doesn’t work, try another one on your list.
Tips on a Long Term Passive-Aggressiveness Solution
Compose a List
Here, you can reflect on the recent issues that angered you. These could be words or actions by your significant other. Consider the thing(s) or behaviors you wish your partner could address to make your relationship happier and more secure.
Be Clear to Your Partner
Here you can draw some boundaries based on the list above. For instance, your partner may prefer going for a workout outdoors. Say this makes you angry because you want them to go with you to the gym instead.
Here you would tell them, “It will mean the world to me that you should go with me to the gym,” instead of, “I’d be happier if we went to the gym together.” You don’t have to make them feel obligated to go with you to the gym.
A Day at a Time
In overcoming passive-aggressiveness, it’s going to be hard to be perfect. Understand that it’s not just about you alone, especially in a marriage context. Allow your partner or your friend to help you. Take each day and each moment individually.
After a few weeks, go and mark your progress. Note any negative behaviors that consciously, subconsciously, or unconsciously attract a passive-aggressive conflict. Then do that the next day and so on.
There are several passive-aggressive ways of responding to any situation. For example, you can have the silent treatment whereby you force yourself to be okay with it even if it makes you angry.
You can also gossip about your underlying anger by saying, “can you imagine he did…” to other people and not the person causing you the negative emotions. You can also claim your space and be obnoxious about it, plus many more responses.
But you can be assertive, honest, and straightforward without hurting the other person. Thus, the last response is appropriate and ideal—all the best as you overcome the negative behavior of acting passive-aggressively.